Dirty walls, Cookies and Prayers 

My living room walls are covered in dings and scratches and dirt marks. These are all signs of family, exuberance, a life well lived with kids, dogs, cats, friends and family. Right?? Right?? (me trying to convince myself…)

Some days the dirt and scuff marks don’t get a second glance. Others they seem the enemy, telling me I’m not good enough. My house isn’t good enough. My house isn’t clean enough or new enough or modern enough. 
I’m having a cookie exchange at my house this weekend. I’ve invited only close friends and family. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I work hard to live in a nice neighborhood with a good yard to play in. 

Why is it that I often feel shame, anxiety and embarrassment about the messy walls, I vacuumed floors and piles of toys? Many of my friends have more updated houses with newly renovated kitchens, not the original linoleum flooring from the 80’s. 

Do my friends care about my dirty walls and old kitchen? Probably not but why is it so difficult to believe that these things don’t matter? 

The pressures from society are sometimes too much. Satan is trying to steal my joy. My happiness that I work so hard toward everyday. This time, I am not letting him. God has given me strength and purpose to go through our possessions and scale back. Decluttering always makes a room look and feel better. I want a more simple life. Not to stumble over toys and things we no longer need. I want to feel good in my home and if it’s a little messy, that’s ok. My friends and family wont hardly noticed where I’m lacking, just as I wouldn’t in their homes. It’s the company and fellowship that matter. 

I’m still planning to scrub the floors and neaten up. But the walls and missing molding, I think I’m going to leave them. 

‘Please, Lord, let me follow your wise words and graciously open my house to my friends and family without stress and without worry or regret. Let me enjoy their fellowship during this season of many expectations.’

Real Life Wednesday 

As much as I try to keep my car clean, most of the time it looks like the photo above. This is an actual photo of the floor of the front of my car. 

We brought some pretzels and Cheez Its to sewing class last weekend and they are still there. One morning on the way to work this week, I was starving, reached for the box of Cheez It’s (not realizing it was open) and Bam! Cheez It disaster everywhere. 

Then there’s the iced tea bottle from somewhere. And a Girl Scout cookie order form. And some random mail. 

At the current moment, most every inch of the car looks the same. The seats, the floor, the trunk. There’s even two sewing machines clunking around! Why is it so much easier to carry everything to the car but a total pain and nearly impossible to bring these same items back into the house?!? I have no idea…

Keeping a clean car is a huge struggle for me. Again, not sure why but that’s just the way I’m wired, I suppose.