Dirty walls, Cookies and Prayers 

My living room walls are covered in dings and scratches and dirt marks. These are all signs of family, exuberance, a life well lived with kids, dogs, cats, friends and family. Right?? Right?? (me trying to convince myself…)

Some days the dirt and scuff marks don’t get a second glance. Others they seem the enemy, telling me I’m not good enough. My house isn’t good enough. My house isn’t clean enough or new enough or modern enough. 
I’m having a cookie exchange at my house this weekend. I’ve invited only close friends and family. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I work hard to live in a nice neighborhood with a good yard to play in. 

Why is it that I often feel shame, anxiety and embarrassment about the messy walls, I vacuumed floors and piles of toys? Many of my friends have more updated houses with newly renovated kitchens, not the original linoleum flooring from the 80’s. 

Do my friends care about my dirty walls and old kitchen? Probably not but why is it so difficult to believe that these things don’t matter? 

The pressures from society are sometimes too much. Satan is trying to steal my joy. My happiness that I work so hard toward everyday. This time, I am not letting him. God has given me strength and purpose to go through our possessions and scale back. Decluttering always makes a room look and feel better. I want a more simple life. Not to stumble over toys and things we no longer need. I want to feel good in my home and if it’s a little messy, that’s ok. My friends and family wont hardly noticed where I’m lacking, just as I wouldn’t in their homes. It’s the company and fellowship that matter. 

I’m still planning to scrub the floors and neaten up. But the walls and missing molding, I think I’m going to leave them. 

‘Please, Lord, let me follow your wise words and graciously open my house to my friends and family without stress and without worry or regret. Let me enjoy their fellowship during this season of many expectations.’

A Mom’s prayer for today

Lord, help me to be better today. Clothe me in the patience and understanding I need to be a better mother and wife.

Forgive me for raising my voice yesterday and most of all help me do a better job at keeping my daughters’ heart. Help her forgive me when I am not the mama she deserves and when I fail to be the best I can be.

Amen.

Gratitude 

Hockey season is officially over in our household. The snow is melting and temperatures are inching warmer. Spring is here. So many things to be thankful for! 

But don’t be fooled by the positive upbeat tone of my voice. Though I love the weekends and I love being home with my family but sometimes tempers and attitudes flair. Usually it’s Sunday mornings as we’re getting ready for church. I like to have a relaxing morning but usually we relax a little too much and end up rushed and running around to get ready in time. I can guarantee there will be an issue with appropriate church attire and where those clothes might exist in the house (dirty laundry basket, washer or put away somewhere incorrect). The irony of losing my temper in preparation for church is not lost on me. You’d think by now I’d anticipate these catastrophes and be able to head them off. But no, I am not that organized or self aware. 

Despite our imperfections and mishaps, I have so much to be thankful for. 

I am looking forward to:

Today-family dinner, not having any commitments outside the house. 

This week: PTA meeting, being able to attend 4H meetings again 

In the future: warm temperatures! Being outside more. 

What are you thankful for or looking forward to?

Aileen